protecting the person(s) you care about
by poodlecake85
Summary: Renji thinks he's not really very good at it, others might disagree. terrible summary. if you do decide to read then good. if not then read something RenjixRukia to encourage more of it. i don't know about the ratings so it's T. also Character death and Angst. so if your in the mood for cheering up this aint it. also i apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes.
1. Chapter 1

Rukia knew it was the end. She could see Ichigo lying unconscious under the orange glow of Orihimes healing.

She could see Chad being picked up by the hollow he had been trying to fight off, he didn't seem to be moving.

She could see Uryuu lying on the ground, his normally white outfit now more red than anything else. She wasn't sure if all of it was his, part of her hoped it was, blood loss seemed better than being consumed.

She could feel her own injuries, or really, if she was honest, she couldn't feel anything. But she knew how bad a condition she was in. she knew that the hollow that she first fought had broken her leg, she knew the one that came after had torn open her right arm and she knew that the last one she fought had forced it's claw through her stomach.

She knew this was where she was going to die. That was, until she heard what could only be described as a cross between a roar and a hiss. And she knew then that she could survive this, she wasn't sure how she knew, but she did.

As she lay upon the ground she had a fairly good view of what was going on. She saw the white skull of Zabimaru crush the mask of the hollow which held chad, she saw that same skull which had so violently slain the hollow carefully pick him up and speed over to Uryuu where it collected him as well. She saw it deposit them between her and Orihime.

After that she noticed it was circling them seemingly going higher, she noticed that the segments were forming a dome of some sort, around them. For a brief second she thought to herself. 'He's made it too big, typical male.' Then the segments crashed together, the red Reishi holding them together was no longer visible and the dome much smaller.

She never did see Renji.


	2. Chapter 2

Renji was scared. He knew he couldn't make it in time, Chad was about to be eaten and he would be too slow getting there to prevent it.

_'I wouldn't'_ he knew Zabimaru wasn't taunting him, he was telling him how he could help them.

As he ran his hand along the side of his blade it transformed under his touch. Had he been a more attentive person or not in such a life or death situation he would have noticed he didn't say anything, Zabimaru had transformed without his verbal command.

As he held his shikai out in front of him pointing it right at the hollow which held his friend it transformed into its final form. A large segmented skeletal snake held together by red Reishi. He once again did not notice that it had happened without him verbally announcing it.

It took all of his concentration to keep Zabimaru on Its path toward the hollow which was holding Chad in the air, he knew the reason Zabimaru wanted to go somewhere else, it was, after all his own desire to protect manifesting in his Zanpakuto, his own desire to protect _Her._

Once the hollow was destroyed he almost allowed Zabimaru to remove her from harm immediately, but he knew if he left Chad there he would die, he knew that if he left Uryuu there he too would die, and he would not allow them to die while he could do something about it.

So he picked them up, and placed them between Orihime and her, he couldn't move Orihime while she was working to save Ichigo and he didn't trust himself to pick her up and not immediately take her as far away as possible.

So he formed a dome, to protect his friends, to protect _her_.

He never even realised he should have been inside it as well.


	3. Chapter 3

Renji realised as the hollow tore open his back that he had never really been able to protect anybody.

From a group of five only two had survived, he knew the she had only made it because she was stronger than the others, stronger than him. He was supposed to be their leader, he was the oldest, the biggest, he had survived on his own longer than any of the others, he was supposed to protect them, but they had died.

When the chance presented itself for Rukia to become a Kuchiki he knew that he would make her do it, he knew he couldn't protect her from the world, but the man who was offering to adopt her could do just that.

When she was to be executed he tried to protect her, to save her but he had failed. If not for Ichigo she would be dead.

When the Arrancar came to Karrakura town he wasn't able to protect anybody. Ururu had ended up impaled on an Arrancar's horn because he was too weak. He had let a child be seriously wounded.

When they had gone to save Orihime he had the least success, he hadn't even been able to defeat one major enemy. She had managed to kill the ninth espada, while he was rendered helpless by the eighth.

He realised that in all his life he hadn't really been able to save very many at all, and more often than not if they survived it wasn't because of his efforts.

Even with this knowledge he wasn't going to give up here. He would hold out long enough for Orihime to heal Ichigo, then _he_ could save the others.

As Renji dodged another hollow attack he realised he was an idiot, he didn't know how long it might take Orihime, and he could be killed at any moment by these hollows, then where would the others be as Zabimaru falls apart around them, probably eaten by hollows.

It was when he had a hollow's claw jammed into his stomach that he knew his friends were safe. As a bright red light cut through the hollow that had so badly wounded him that he knew his friends would be saved, not by him, that wasn't what he was good at, no, somebody who could actually protect them had shown up to help. Someone who could save Rukia.


	4. Chapter 4

Rukia awoke in a white room, too white. She had to be in the fourth she thought to herself. But that meant she was safe, back in soul society, they had been saved. So why did she feel so hollow.

As she sat up she noticed her brother was sitting beside his bed, she noticed his eyes first, they looked haunted, a slight red to them made her wonder how long he had sat beside her bed, waiting for her to wake up.

Then she noticed that he wasn't looking at her. He seemed to be staring at his lap. She wasn't sure why but she was scared at what had made her brother seem that way.

As Byakuya noticed she was sitting up her turned to face her directly, he saw fear in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." Was all he said before bringing his hands out of his lap. What he held caused her to shake, it brought tears to her eyes and sobs from her throat. He held an unmistakable Zanpakuto and a lieutenants badge. His lieutenants badge.

As she took the offered items she understood why they would be here. He was gone.

Rukia's whole body shook as she tried unsuccessfully to take a breath. Then she heard a voice, not the one she wanted so desperately to hear, not the voice which would prove her wrong right now. No the voice she heard was one she wasn't supposed to, she wasn't supposed to ever hear this voice, only one person should have ever heard this voice but he was gone now.

"Hush little one" she knew it had tried to say something he would have, probably "oi, shut up midget", but Zanpakuto aren't the best at communicating. "He would not want you crying right now." She knew it was right, if he had found her crying about something he had done he would have called her an idiot, baited her until she took her emotions out on him physically. But she couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes, she couldn't help the way her body shook, she couldn't help the pain.

She didn't notice her brother's Reiatsu flare. She didn't notice Captain Unohana come in and put something into her arm, all she noticed were the flakes peeling of his Zanpakuto and fading away, by the time she felt the effects of whatever she had been giving only the hilt remained, and that was fading fast.


	5. Chapter 5

After a brief but heated argument about exactly where it was that he was to be buried, which was ended when Captain Kuchiki stated that his sister was correct and no other place would work, plans were made.

In the end it had to be Yumichika who gave the eulogy, no one else could get up and talk without breaking down or depressing everyone even further.

Rukia had initially wanted her brother to do it but he informed her that he could not find the words for it, then she had asked his friends, Hisagi was apparently terribly with words, Kira's proposal made her want to cry in the corner even more and Momo was just as likely as she was to cry her eyes out halfway through.

When she had told Ikkkaku the news he had left, she still hasn't seen him around yet. So in the end it was Yumichika up there talking, she didn't even realise they knew each other very well. He was saying something about protecting the ones you care for but she wasn't sure. She couldn't really hear him over her silent sobs.

* * *

That night she found herself outside her brothers door, she didn't know what she expected to find in there but she didn't want to be alone right now.

Rukia wasn't going to enter, she wasn't going to disturb her brothers sleep. As she turned to walk away the door opened and Byakuya pulled her inside, after an awkward silence he carried her to his bed, where he lay down with her, comforting her as one would a young child.

As he lay there with her he felt her sob, he knew that she was crying even before she had come in, and for a brief second he hated Renji, hated that he could die and leave Rukia like this. But it didn't last long, he loved Renji, because he had died so his sister could live, and Byakuya would make sure that she did. Because Byakuya knew that this pain would never leave her, but in a hundred years she might smile again, in a hundred years she might get excited about chappy or draw some terrible pictures again, and for that he loved the street rat who had clawed his way up to be his lieutenant.

As she sobbed she realized that she needed to talk, if it was to her brother who held her so protectively then all the better, but she wasn't sure how there conversation would go, so she started with the most controversial topic, her love.

"Why didn't I tell him?" Byakuya knew what she was asking but was unsure of how to respond, so he waited for her to continue instead.

"Why didn't I tell him he was always good enough for me?" a small part of her was surprised that Byakuya didn't seem at all upset about this, then again knowing him he probably already knew how she felt about his lieutenant.

"Rukia." He said simply, letting her know he was going to speak. "He wouldn't have believed you anyway." And she knew he was right, Renji was far too stubborn to ever change his mind just because someone tells him that what he has always believed wasn't true. But it was, and she knew she could have convinced him of that, but she never took her chance to try.


End file.
